2. A frightening number of men wore skirts in public back then, just like today: A clear indicator that the American empire is in its final stages.
3. Historians believe Rome collapsed shortly after the loss of the Little Caesars $5 Hot-n-Ready pizza: Uh-oh...
4. Too many penalty flags were thrown during sporting events: It took away the enjoyment of gladiator matches. The NFL is refusing to learn a lesson from history.
5. Most of the Senators were gay: Sound familiar? Hmmmm?
6. Politicians gained power by promising people free stuff: It's a little-known fact that Obamaphones played a huge role in Julius Caesar's rise to prominence.
7. The emperor's son did tons of drugs and bought prostitutes: To be fair, so did the emperor.
8. The military was once the greatest force on earth but was taken over by a bunch of lily-livered sissies: Not good!
9. The man in charge took power without being elected: Just like today.
The similarities are uncanny! You all might as well accept the truth and just wait to be conquered by the Visigoths.
NOT SATIRE: History. Economics. The Great Works of Literature. The Meaning of the U.S. Constitution. Time and technology have changed a lot of things, but they have not changed the truths about the world and our place in it.
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