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With the Iowa Republican Caucus in full swing, it's time for
us to confront our deepest, darkest fear: Donald Trump may actually get
re-elected in November. As painful as it may be to face that fact, this reality
means there are things liberals may need to think about buying up and hoarding.
2.Bricks: For throwing through the windows of a local small
business. For democracy.
3.Books that say "gay": You need to build up a stash
before Trump burns them all.
4.Freeze-dried mail-in ballots: You'll need them to take back
our democracy in 2028.
5.Every episode of Brian Stelter's Reliable Sources on DVD:
There's no way those will be available for purchase in Trump's fascist America.
6.Masks & COVID tests: To provide you with peace of mind
while in your bunker.
7.Emergency puberty blockers: In case you or a loved one ever
need to trans a kid.
8.Kleenex: To use as you mourn the loss of our precious
democracy. And while watching your Brian Stelter DVDs.
9.Pictures of Trump: To stare at hatefully every day.
Go! Get out there, hit every store you can find, and get all
of this stuff while you still can!
NOT SATIRE: THEY'RE HIDING SOMETHING. SOMETHING BIG.
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