By:
Howdy Doody Conservative
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Many people are familiar with Dante's famous "9 Circles
of Hell," where different categories of pitiful souls spend eternity in
horrific torment for their sins. Still, the ones he wrote about may seem a
little outdated for modern readers. It's been 700 years since we learned who
was hanging out in each circle of Hell in Dante's Inferno, and Hades has added
quite a few souls!
Punishment: They will endure the unending awkward silence their joke deserves.
Level 3: People who don't return their shopping carts to the
corral.
Level 4: Makers of single-ply toilet paper.
Level 5: People who add a chorus to "Amazing
Grace."
Level 6: Everyone from Chile, strangely.
Level 7: The inventor of the recorder.
Level 8: Steve.
Level 9: The TSA agent at George Bush Intercontinental
Airport, Terminal B, who yelled 'YOU!! KEEP YOUR BELT ON! BELT ON!!', right
where everyone could see who she was talking to, not more than fifteen seconds
after saying, "Please remove your belt and any other accessories."
As the country slowly increases in racism and right-wing
bigotry, it’s important to ensure you don’t get caught up in their evil MAGA
ways.
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