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Howdy Doody Conservative
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“PETA will deliver a delicious ‘Weather Reveal’ vegan cake each Groundhog Day in perpetuity if [the Punxsutawney Groundhog Club] agrees to let Punxsutawney Phil and his family retire to a reputable sanctuary, a move that will earn the outfit kudos from wildlife fans,” the press release stated.
“In a fun play on viral gender reveal videos, PETA’s tasty treat would be cut to expose one of two colors: blue, signifying six more weeks of winter, or pink, indicating an early spring,” the statement said.
The letter to Dunkel used multiple baking puns, claiming the vegan cake “would allow you to still make tourism dough while showing Phil a slice of decency.”
“You batter believe that for Phil, Groundhog Day is no piece of cake,” PETA President Ingrid Newkirk wrote. “Groundhogs are shy prey animals who, when allowed, actively avoid humans. Yet, year after year, Phil is transported to Gobbler’s Knob, whisked on stage, and subjected to a noisy announcer, screaming crowds, and flashing lights against all his natural instincts.”
She continued: “If approached in his natural habitat, he would run away in fear, not volunteer to live year-round in captivity, unable to do anything that’s natural and important to him like hibernate or burrow—just to be a town’s once-a-year fake meteorologist.”PETA president Ingrid Newkirk also added that Groundhog Day officials could “sprinkle some happiness” into Phil’s life by letting him retire.
“When allowed to be themselves, groundhogs avoid humans, create intricate networks of underground burrows, communicate with one another, and even climb trees, but poor Phil is denied all of that for a tired old gimmick,” Newkirk argued.
“Our letter suggests the groundhog club demonstrate true respect for Phil and set a wonderful example for how everyone can move beyond ‘Groundhog’ Day by replacing him with a delicious vegan ‘Weather Reveal’ cake that revelers can enjoy as an alternative to exploiting wild animals,” a spokesperson explained. “The time is long overdue.In 2024, PETA offered to send a giant gold coin to replace the animal.
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